Sunday, September 23, 2007

I've Cut Down To A Few Packs A Day

Hi everyone, sorry I've been a little scarce these past few weeks with posting. My voice is getting better, but my throat still hurts and I'm still coughing a lot, I sometimes have to hold onto something when I could because I'm scared I'm going to pop open my stitches. I'm wearing this giant bandaid on my throat - I wonder if I took it off and drank something if it would pop thru - ha ha, I'm obviously kidding, but wouldn't it be funny... like that movie Deuce Bigalow or something.

I napped most of today, and slept kinda crappy last night. I actually went to bed before 10pm the last 2 nights, which is amazingly rare for me, I'm usually up until at least 1am. The first night I slept on my couch at my apartment (and if you've been there, you know it's amazingly comfy) so that I wouldn't try to sleep on my side and be in more pain. Last night I slept at my parents house, and slept on my side like normal, but with a giant stuffed animal for padding. I think I might be up to driving by tomorrow...? I can turn my head enough to get around, I think.

I'm amazed with myself, I guess because I've had so much waiting, and such a strong gut feeling that the hodge was back, that I actually haven't freaked out since surgery yet -- no crying, nothing! And I cry like it's my job lately, so I'm amazed with myself. I'm just waiting until Tuesday to find out the news. But I have a strong feeling that it'll be confirmed that it's officially back. I decided if it is back, and I have to go thru a stem cell transplant and terrible chemo, that I'm not going to rush into it. I'm going to request at least 2-3 weeks before chemo starts. I want to get some fun in before my life goes to shit. Maybe another pre-chemopalooza too? I dunno, it's a possibility.

Anywho, I think I'm going to go try and do something now, so I'll write more, maybe later tonight.



Anonymous said...

Hehhe. We have the same craaazy thoughts. When I had my first need biopsy on my mediastynal (lung) tumor it hurt really bad especially when I would breath and stuff. And once I was watching tv with all my family and all of a sudden I sneezed! They all looked at my facial contortions of pain and I said "I thought my lung was gonna squirt out through the Biopsy holes!!!" even my dad laughed and he doesn't like gross stuff at all. He's learning. My onc is starting to discuss my Next transplant,because apparently this chemo is having good response. I hope you don't have to go through it, but if you do, you better know you can share all the sad lamb stories you got, cuz I'd probably be in the saaame stuff.


Anonymous said...

Remember that scary story people used to tell when we were kids? You know the one where the lady always wears a ribbon around her neck... and one day she took off the ribbon and her head fell off? That's what I thought you were gonna say about your bandage, haha.

Anyway, I'm thinkin about you. Fingers crossed. Are you in Burlington now?


Veronica said...

Hey kiddo - DAMN right you should apologise - surgical biopsies are NO excuse at all for not updating your blog - absolutely shocking ;o)

Glad you're feeling a bit better - you sounded really good on the phone - you're made of strong stuff, Ms Kane - love ya...........xx