Light Those 5 Year Diagnosis Candles!

Wow. It's been six months since my last post. I'm beyond overdue, yet not really at all. I mean, let's face it, if cancer reared it's ugly head again, there would be bountiful updates... but since it hasn't, it's really a good thing that I haven't posted.

This December actually marks 5 years since diagnosis. It's funny how some people remember and even celebrate certain dates. Some celebrate remission, some celebrate the last day of their chemo hell, some reflect on their diagnosis day... and of course, some are still battling the beast. For me, there was really never a calendar day that I remembered being told I was in remission. Finding out I had cancer and finishing chemo were two milestones -- err um something. They are two specific dates that don't seem to leave my brain. As I'm typing this up, I'm realizing I'm two days away from my five year diagnosis. It's weird how similar my life is to five years ago. Like eerily similar. I'm back working at a PR firm, doing the hussle bussle thing. Keeping suuuuper busy in my personal life too... happy as can be... I'm almost waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I it won't and can't. I'm hauling ass to June 14 2012, the official 5 year mark... or at least what I'm going to focus on and strive for. Perhaps I should start planning a party or a trip or something for it. Yes, I think something is in order.

It's sad, I'm slowly losing touch with my hodge friends. I mean, it's to be expected. But it's so sad how life gets in the way of keeping touch and remembering cancer. I still think about it daily. It shapes who I am. I wonder when that daily will be weekly, then monthly and then... I've come a long way from being bedridden and miserable and staying at my parents house because I didn't even want to leave to grocery shop. My hair is curlier, but still pretty close to its normal orignial state. My hodge homeys will always be part of me, just a more distant part from time to time.

Well this blog didn't go as deep as I planned. I have a little writers block or something... still it was a necessary update and slightly cathartic as always :)

Happy almost 5 years to me!

XO

Another Year, Another Flag Day

Last night, I was out with some friends. Someone asked me how the hodge was treating me -- or in my case, not fucking with me ;) And all of a sudden, I pulled out my cell phone and looked at the calendar... a couple days from June 14. What's June 14th? Well, it's Flag Day, my friends. What else is it? It's the day I like to celebrate beating cancer since it was my last chemo treatment, ever.

This will be the fourth year. I finished treatment back in 2007. It seems as the years get further away, I almost forget dates of things. Yet, I still think of the hodge, and how I've changed since then. Usually daily I remember something about that dark time in my life, and think, what a huge feat, and I did it. I won.

Yet, four years later, I often wonder.... should I have dramatically changed my life? Afterall, some people I know weren't so lucky.

I didn't change much about myself from a physical stand point. In fact, I actually put on a few, taunting, post-chemo pounds. But I didn't pick up and travel the world. In fact, I'm still trying to dig out of chemo debt and haven't been able to afford much of a different lifestyle.

I'd like to think from an internal perspective, I've changed. I have a different view of life that I didn't have before. My fearlessness has dwindled a bit, however. My humbleness and compassion has grown. I don't know if that's a win-win or not.

I recently started reading this book, and the writer talked about how she was happy with her life, but always wondered, is this it? Or is there more to my life other than the monotonous of everyday. I often wonder those same things every day. Am I just here to be the person I am today, or do I have some bigger purpose that I haven't realized yet? I think it's kind of like the childhood thoughts of there being one person, a soul mate, waiting in the world for you, and your goal is to find them. Yes, I secretly think like that, but haven't found said person in my 28 years. Is there some special purpose I was put on this earth for? Or just monotony? Of course, I'm still figuring things out.

Anywho, think of me on Tuesday and don your anti-chemo flags, folks.

XO

Financial Assistance Sites?

Let's face it, cancer is expensive and being out of work while battling it is even more expensive.

I recently met a friend of a friend that is battling the dreaded hodge. A few years back I gathered financial assistance details only to find out now that some of the info is out of date now. If you know of a helpful resource page, please let me know, of just leave comments of good financial assistance resources :)

XO

Chemopalooza Now Has A Disclaimer

I often get emails from people in the cancer industry - PR firms, analysts, pseudo doctors trying to sell me crap, people trying to get me to review a book on breast cancer (which I never had), etc. etc.

Like many people in the cancer community, I really do want to help people. Afterall, I beat the hodge, I get it. And of course I volunteered for a year talking with cancer patients. But now, I work full-time (and then some) and have other things on my plate.

Good News: If you're dealing with the hodge and you've got questions for me, I'm happy to help! If you just want to tell me my blog inspired you or helped you through a difficult time - email me, I'd love to hear that!

Bad News: But... if you want me to help your client, I probably don't have the time or interest to help (unless you're offering a paying job, of course). I rarely blog on here anymore, and it's tough to respond to every PR pitch I recieve, let along follow their requests.

So please please please, NO PR pitches on Chemopalooza. I work in PR, I get the need for media coverage, but that's not what my blog is about - at all. I list a ton of great resources on here to help patients and medical professionals navigate the cancer interwebs, use 'em!

XO

Almost 2011 - Get a Calendar and Support The Hodge!

My buddy Ry Ry has become quite the photog over the past couple years since we both beat The Hodge (aka Hodgkin's Lymphoma). In whatever he does, he always shares proceeds with a great charity. This year he came out with a calendar of Boudoir Pinups and all proceeds go to one of my favorite charities - the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!

For only $10.40 (yes, they're on sale!!) you can look at pretty ladies all year in Ry Ry's 2011 Boudoir Louisville Pinup Girl Calendar! 

To purchase one, click here.

XO

I Need A Pet Lamb

I found this while I was searching for funny birthday cards for a co-worker today and had to share! I know, I need a lamb intervention! My mom event bought me Noah's Arch cookie cutters for Christmas, mostly because they came with a lamb! :)

XO

Tis The Season

One of the things I love about the holiday season is everyone's caring nature. One thing I dread, is everyone's greed. I'm old now, okay I'm not that old. But I don't need presents to feel loved. I'd prefer kind gestures and friendship and doing nice things for others. It goes much further than some gift that I probably didn't need anyways.

My parents are great, and the past couple holidays they've gotten me extravagant gifts that I couldn't afford on my own. Last year was a wonderful television that I love, but wouldn't have bought myself because, I'm cheap. Now that I'm paying for my new car this year, money is even tighter and I'm trying to be creative with gifts - eventhough the few people I buy gifts for have everything they need.

Although I don't have the money to donate to struggling non-profits, I have volunteered my time and I hope that's enough. Remember folks, it's not about how much you spend, but how you treat others. Pay it forward and try to avoid your greed this holiday season and instead think of something nice to do for someone.

xoxo

Disturbing...

I'm sitting home with some free time and my laptop open. Perfect time to catch up on my blog a bit. I just went through some comments that had been stuck in my spam filter dating back to August. I had saved one comment that I had meant to follow up on but never had time to actually call the person that left it. Yes, that's right, he left his phone number. He stated that he was a doctor and that he could help me cure my cancer by changing my diet, not letting me take drugs or radiation. Funny thing is, I haven't had cancer in years. Nearly 4 years to be exact. Of course, this guy didn't read that here, or anything about me. I had multiple comments from him which I deleted so you guys wouldn't get sucked in.

I understand that there really are good people out there that want to help others. That's great! I wish there were more people like that. On many occassions, I have been that person, emailing with people struggling with the hodge and stumbling across my blog and I am happy to. But there are also people that are sneaky and out to potentially scam people. After our 11 minute phone conversation, I wasn't convinced this guy was an actual doctor or looking to help cancer patients, he seemed instead interested in possiblly preying on the weak, and uneducated, which I am neither. And to top it off, I Googled him and just found random comments of his, including ones that had been deleted by webmasters for my same concerns.

Trust your instincts, folks. Beware of people that will prey on your weak and hopeless feelings.

I'll post a more positive blog next.

XO

Long Time No Blog

It's been a while since I last posted - sorry folks, I'm a terrible blogger.

As for my skin cancer slicing, I went back to the dermatologist and she froze the area where we cut to ensure the cancerous cells died. I also just got a $300+ bill for the very minor procedure! I can't believe how ridiculous health insurance is! I'm also thankful to have had better insurance when I had the hodge or I might have had to declare bankrupt. Sheesh!

Speaking of the Hodge. My fellow hodge-fighting friend Jane Steele beat the hodge shortly after I did (maybe a year or so afterwards) and we even share the same birthday -- a few years off, but the same day. I just found out via Facebook that she was diagnosed with AML or Acute myelogenous leukemia - yesterday. My thoughts go out to her and her family as they begin yet another battle with cancer.

Friends, remember to take some time to smell the roses once and a while. I'm on my way to go smell my dog instead, I haven't seen him since August and he's battling Lyme disease but apparently is on the mend. Good thing he is or I'd have to pup nap him
:)

XO


XO

Dodge One Cancer, Slice Off Another

Being as pale as I am (one of my co-workers calls me a vampire even!), I get annual skin checks to make sure I'm being as proactive as I can to fight skin cancer. That and, I lather up with the sunblock and try to avoid sunbathing since I go from white to lobster.

Anywho, I've also been going to the skin doctor also a few times a year for my skin breakouts -- nothing really works for me, they give me a bunch of crap, swear it works and make me waste my money. Last time I  got a facial I showed my chick a little bump I had on my face - near my temple. She thought it was a clogged pore, but it wouldn't unclog. I had had it for about 9 months, and I just happened to have a dermatologist appointment the following week. My derm tried to write off the bump as an acne scar and I basically had to sales her and push her to get it tested. Well... it turns out, it was precancerous cells. I'm only 28 friggin' years old! It was an actinic keratosis and if left untreated can turn into cancer. Yikes!

I have a follow up appointment scheduled for next week. I just can't believe someone as cautious AND young as myself would have precanerous cells on my face! And that my derm tried to pretend it was nothing!

I'll keep you all posted on the next steps if there are any -- and of course, make sure to schedule your annual skin check!

Oh and by the way -- my recent 6-month hodge follow up appointment was clean. I'll hopefully have my last pet scan in 6 months - then it's blood work moving forward! Huzzah!

XO