Rants, Raves and Lunacy of Living with Hodgkins Lymphoma
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Another Year, Another Flag Day
Last night, I was out with some friends. Someone asked me how the hodge was treating me -- or in my case, not fucking with me ;) And all of a sudden, I pulled out my cell phone and looked at the calendar... a couple days from June 14. What's June 14th? Well, it's Flag Day, my friends. What else is it? It's the day I like to celebrate beating cancer since it was my last chemo treatment, ever.
This will be the fourth year. I finished treatment back in 2007. It seems as the years get further away, I almost forget dates of things. Yet, I still think of the hodge, and how I've changed since then. Usually daily I remember something about that dark time in my life, and think, what a huge feat, and I did it. I won.
Yet, four years later, I often wonder.... should I have dramatically changed my life? Afterall, some people I know weren't so lucky.
I didn't change much about myself from a physical stand point. In fact, I actually put on a few, taunting, post-chemo pounds. But I didn't pick up and travel the world. In fact, I'm still trying to dig out of chemo debt and haven't been able to afford much of a different lifestyle.
I'd like to think from an internal perspective, I've changed. I have a different view of life that I didn't have before. My fearlessness has dwindled a bit, however. My humbleness and compassion has grown. I don't know if that's a win-win or not.
I recently started reading this book, and the writer talked about how she was happy with her life, but always wondered, is this it? Or is there more to my life other than the monotonous of everyday. I often wonder those same things every day. Am I just here to be the person I am today, or do I have some bigger purpose that I haven't realized yet? I think it's kind of like the childhood thoughts of there being one person, a soul mate, waiting in the world for you, and your goal is to find them. Yes, I secretly think like that, but haven't found said person in my 28 years. Is there some special purpose I was put on this earth for? Or just monotony? Of course, I'm still figuring things out.
Anywho, think of me on Tuesday and don your anti-chemo flags, folks.
If you're new to this page, you might want to start by reading My Story
My chemo countdown was completed on June 14, 2007.
I've still got some spots on my chest, but have been it's just thymic rebound. On October 25, 2007 I was told that I'm officially in Remission.
My next scans are scheduled for NEVER! I'm done with scans! Only on the yearly blood work program!
Suck it cancer!
Welcome to Chemopalooza!
Hi Everyone. I hope you enjoy reading my rants, raves and lunacy about living with Hodgkins Lymphoma. I was diagnosed on December 21, 2006 and did 6 months of ABVD. I still try to update this site on a regular basis so keep checking for updates. And I love reading your comments, so keep them coming!