Chemopalooza: chemopalooza

5 Years Is Like Being Crowned Miss America
and then giving the hodge the finger!

Wow. What a difference 5 years makes. Today marks my 5 year chemo-versary, and Flag Day for any of those of you looking at the calendar. Yes, 5 years ago, on June 14, 2007 I finished 6 months of ABVD and officially called cancer my BITCH! This is the only real day I get to celebrate, because I unfortunately never had an official remission date. But hell yeah, I'll take 5 years under my belt.

Just writing this, it feels like it was yesterday I was bringing in cupcakes and celebrating with my nurses the joyus occassion of putting the chemo battle behind me. I actually had to look at my blog to remember if it was 4 or 5 years ago that I finished... because to me, it was yesterday!

Thankfully, I'm happy to report that I am no longer a frequent lurker of the Hodge message boards, nor do I spend the majority of my day reading cancer blogs - or even posting on mine. I think of it as more like 4 times a year for Chemopalooza and I'm a-okay with that!

Just think about it, 5 years ago I coined the term "Chemopalooza" and before I made my website purchase, I scoured the web and found only 1 weird reference to do with a football team. Now, go give it a whirl, you'll find 160+ results. Yes, some are my blog, but I'm happy to report just on the first results page, I found someone throwing themselves a pre-chemopalooza party! Who's a trendsetter? This girl!

Anywho, thank you to everyone who was there for me during my battle. I think and reflect on those that didn't make it as far as me, and think of them often.

Thank you for checkin' in on me and rooting for me to still be alive and kickin'!

XOXO

It's been nearly a decade... or at least a few months. We all knew this would happen eventually, yes, we're growing apart and starting to have different interests and meet different people. I don't have cancer anymore. I haven't for more than 3 years. And that, to me, is awesome. I do find myself thinking about it less, but still almost daily because it really has shaped me into the lovely person that I am today. It's cliche, and yes, I totally understand this, but it's true.

I do actually have a cancer topic to blog about surprisingly. It's even a slightly pre-meditated post, and usually I just kind of type until things come out and voila that's the usual way I write. Anywho, today I'm finally getting around to writing about a conversation I had with a good friend of mine regarding the thing that this blog was based on - Chemopalooza.

Did you know that I did some extensive Googling before starting this blog, and no one had used the term before -- now look online, you can buy shirts saying it! My buddy Ry Ry actually was the first to create a shirt for me with it - and then some other Websites copied my idea. I guess imitation is a form of flattery, right?

Well anyways, back to my conversation with my friend Jeff. He was telling me that on separate occasions he had mentioned Pre-Chemopalooza (the original party) to two of his friends - one I have met a few times, and one I have yet to meet. Well the latter was impressed by my strength and humor and though the idea of throwing a party, a last hoorah if you will, before my life substantially changed.

The other thought it was offensive that I tried to live it up before I endured chemo. Almost like I was supposed to sit in my bed, perhaps shopping online for my future headstone and writing my eulogy incase I didn't win the battle. I guess he was almost offended by the whole idea.

I understand both sides - I obviously lean much further toward the first understanding. I honestly think it was the best party I've ever thrown, and the fact that it was in my honor, during a time when I could barely sleep and needed to keep busy for fear that I might have a breakdown worrying about the unknown. It was perfect. It filled so many voids for me, the fact of gathering so many friends together to laugh, be stupid, and enjoy pre-~~cancer~~ I mean chemo me. I already had cancer, duh that's what got me into the party planning business. Ha.

But the guy that thought chemopalooza was wrong - thought like I was mocking cancer. He just missed one thing - I was the one owning the cancer. And well, let's face it, if you are going to be a bully - you might as well be a bully to something life-threatening - and more importantly hair-threatening. I was mocking the cancer, I was hoping it would go back to where it came from, I was hoping it would just realize it was in the wrong body, the wrong lymph nodes and fuck off while I laughed and sipped cheap champagne.

Really, I don't have much to say about this, other than how amusing it was to hear two reactions to my cancer story. Maybe amusing is the wrong work - perhaps thought provoking is a better way to sum up my thoughts. I don't really feel like I"m back to old me -- but I guess old me died a little with the hodge. I looked at a picture today of Pre-Chemopalooza and I look different. Now I just feel a bit more weathered. A bit more scarred. Literally and figuratively.

I'll leave you with this picture from Chemopalooza. You should also listen to this song because I was listening to it on repeat the whole time I typed this up and I love it. I couldn't find it online or I would have added it to my playlist.