Not much excitement...

So I haven't posted in a while, I just don't have a lot going on in my life these days, so there was no reason to post an update :) But then I realized that I should post something so people know I'm alive :)

So yeah, I'm still kicking around! I even went to the gym this weekend! It was a pretty bleh kinda weekend, it snowed a bunch on Friday -- but of course, me being the rebel I am, I got a haircut that night and battled the storm :) We cut maybe half an inch off or so, basically, we're just working on getting it matched up... it's getting exciting because I think it might even look normal straight if I try now, it's getting super thick! I'll take a picture sometime soon, but I doubt it looks as good as my last pictures.... best part of those previous pictures, I actually got stood up that night that you all thought I looked so fancy - ahh good times :) I'm glad I didn't get prettied up for nothing, instead I got blog love :)

Other than that, not too much is new. Work is busy, a bit too busy for me. I'm like a roller coaster, it gets overwhelming for me. Its stressful because I'm part time, but people still expect me to get stuff done timely, and there just isn't enough time in the day to be up to speed with everything in the news as well as on top of all my projects, and eat lunch and leave by 4pm, it's impossible. So by Tuesday in the week, I'm already overwhelmed. I really don't want to go full time yet, it's just too scary of a step for me, and I just don't think I'm ready - especially since I'm already working until 6pm being part time... I hate this whole being an adult and working thing. And in the same thought process, I think to myself, man I need a part time job to get back on the finance track.... bleh. Anyone play the lottery and want to hook a girl up? I can hair braid and snuggle good... ha

Sooo yeah, I'm fading on the rest of my posting, soooooooooooooo I'm done :)

XO

Fancytown...

So I finally finished decorating my lil "accent" wall at my apartment, me and dad hung up the pictures and he did some touch up paint as well... so without further ado voila, my wall

I only have one more wall to decorate, hopefully I can figure it out soon :)

XO

Dear Scans

Suck it, I'm clean!! All my doc saw was my thymus :)

Scans Tomorrow...

I've got scans tomorrow, think happy thoughts around noon tomorrow!

As Karen says, keep your thoughts dirty and your scans clean.

Oh and I'm officially thanking Nicole (aka Leg Warmers) for entertaining me this week and participating in Operation Keep Kelly Busy. Thanks, you're my favorite! :) (She's the one next to me in the pic below)

I should have updates in the evening, when I return from drinking pineapple vodka and stuffing my face with chicken parm!

XO

Lazy Monday

What a weird day off. It's about 60 degrees out, and has been between 45 and 60 thru the night - and super humid. It feels like spring. My apartment is super muggy, but I'm kind of enjoying it. My windows are open, I even almost wore flip flops this morning to go out to breakfast with Pat, until he yelled at me because it was raining -- but I totally could have! It really feels like Sunday, especially since I was visiting my parents and sleeping all weekend. I'm glad I had the extra day to pack in some randomness. I still need to do some errands - especially grocery shopping, my fridge is virtually empty and that's never my style!

I purchased two new cds on itunes this weekend, and I'm throughly enjoying them! I got Sara Bareilles and Paolo Nutini, both REALLY grow on you. I'm listening to Sarah Bareilles over and over today - I can't stop! So if you're looking for new cd suggestions of kind of good sing along in the car kind music, purchase 'em. And Sarah is especially fabulous if you're a sappy chick like me :)

Hmmm what else... have I mentioned that I finally replaced Leon #1? I'm calling the new fish Leon as well - we're just pretending he was on vacation :) Here's a picture of him, he's almost as cool as old Leon!



I think that's all for now. Oh and I've added a few new songs in the beginning of my playlist, enjoy!

XO!

Visiting Mom and Dad

Ahoy. I haven't posted in like a week, but damn, I'm getting lots of hits on a daily basis! That's what I like, ha ha!

I'm posting from my parents house, I'm visiting for a few days, probably actually heading back home tonight. We took my mom out to dinner and then fancy brunch for her birthday this weekend. It was good. I'm super tired though. I'm a sleepy gal this weekend. Thankfully, I'm off from work on Monday (and actually Thursday as well, but unfortunately that's for friggin' scans) bring on the 3-day work week!

Other than that, not much is new that I can think of. No Valentine's Day stalkers or anything entertaining this year. Oh if you live near me, or if you want to just donate to someone else, I've signed up my company for Daffodil Days, if you're interested in participating, email me. You can check out a list of items to purchase here

I'm excited to get lots of fabulous smelling Daffodil's in the office :)

XO

Hair Update

Just thought I would share some pictures of my florescent eyes and shorter, more curlier hair... maybe I should have put some lipstick on that day, ha ha.

Oh and I've purchased 5 more years for Chemopalooza.com so it's not disappearing anytime soon. Even if I stop posting, it'll still be kicking around :)

Not much else is new with me these days. Scans are next Thursday the 21st, I'm increasingly nervous... I'm also wondering if I should take Friday off from work as well... I think I'm just making myself crazy.

Anywho, that's all for now.

XO

Marilyn Monroe Once Said...

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I'm out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

As soon as Bekah posted this quote on the forum, I realized it need to be shared :)

Negative Nancy No More

Hi all - sorry for my Debbie Downer posts this week. My life is a rollercoaster and I need to roll with the punches better. I got lots of sleep this week - mostly because I was a depression nightmare, but now I feel like I'm on the other side of the craziness.

I'm trying to make sure I'm super honest with people lately about stuff that stresses me out - because damnit, I can't live life letting people walk all over me or neglecting me.

Anywho, just an update that I'm still kicking around. I'm heading into Boston tomorrow to go out to dinner with Judy who is in the city for the weekend.... and I'm totally going to have a giant pineapple vodka drink - yep, I picked the same place I went a few months ago. I'm a creature of habit, and I think I actually will enjoy this drink... funny thing though, I've mostly been avoiding the sauce these days, it just makes my nose itch (weird, I know) and makes my skin dry and itchy.... so basically, I'm probably alergic to beer or alcohol.... so I ration it out for the important times :)

Oh and I've been getting chiropractic adjustments on a weekly basis for the past 2 months or so and it's pretty awesome - especially since I recently found out I can get a 30 minute massage for $20 because of my health insurance! Yay! So tonight, I had my second 30 minute massage in 2 weeks and then an adjustment. My chiropractor also said that adjustments and massages will help hodge Kelly as well since apparently it boosts your immune system and t-cells... I think she said "pops it" ... but basically, it makes your immune system stronger and better at fighting... all the more reason for weekly treatments if possible.

After my adjustment today, I took the massage therapist's advice and bought some epsom salts and lavender essential oil and took a bath with both and threw in a little light olive oil - since apparently baby oil drys your skin according to her! Basically, tonight was a major learning night :) Soooo I'm nice and relaxed and ready to hit the hay....

Thanks again for the encouragement this week... I really needed it.

XO

Not as glamorous as I thought...

I'm too old to pretend I'm in high school, or even college. That's like a world away from me these days. I often feel like I'm surrounded by kids in all aspects of my life. I also feel like a lot of these people have no appreciation for the simple things in life and just continue to bitch and gripe about tiny things --- and when I am forced to listen to them complain in their kid-like passive agressiveness, I have to try VERY hard not to slap them, or yell at them for complaining about such tiny things and letting them rule their lives. I try to make people step away from the crazy and see that it's really not such a big deal, but it doesn't work - and instead it just annoys me. Most people I'm surrounded by just continue to disappoint me - even the ones that I would never think would, do. I think I'm too nice, maybe even a sucker. I wonder why people take advantage of me sometimes. Maybe it's all a joke? I'm not even sure. I'm just so frustrated and empty all wound together.

I'm also just frustrated with myself lately. This whole post-hodge life was supposed to be amazing. I was supposed to be skinny, and healthy, happy and super social... unfortunately, I'm not any of those lately. I don't think I've gained any weight, but I'm about the same as I was at the end of chemo -the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life AND I have no energy again. I feel bad about myself not wanting to go to the gym, but I also just don't care at the same time. My skin is a nightmare. I've been going to the dermatologist often and they keep putting me on all of these freaking drugs to try and clear me up - ugh. During chemo my skin was super clear! It might have been a bit dry, but at least it was clear and I didn't look like a fat hormonal 15 year old. I know I should eat better, but sometimes eating crappy just makes me feel better - I know it's like a Dr. Phil moment waiting to happen. And even when I do eat pretty good, I still don't feel good! And I still don't lose weight. Ugh.

I'm just not content with things right now. I know this is far from an upbeat post, and I apologize. I just don't know what to do to get me out of this funk. This weekend, I even went out randomly, spur of the moment and got a replacement Leon (my goldfish) to cheer me up. But really, the old Leon was much better - eh it's the story of my life.

All my muscles hurt too. Bleh.

Disappointment

Lately I'm really disappointed in people these days... ugh. It's annoying. I hate being the glue, but if I stop, everyone else does too - WTF?

Bleh. I'm cranky.

XO