Tuesday, October 2, 2007

I've Got a Case of the Crankies

Okay, I'm officially cranky. It's finally had a few hours to settle in my head and I'm just in a bad, cranky, lonely mood. I even googled "gifts to cheer up", but didn't find anything that I thought, "Damn, I wish I had this to cheer me up before!" so I didn't get anything. Bleh. Somehow I started thinking about all of my friends that just disappeared during my treatment, or when I would tell them about my situation, they would instead tell about their little problems in their life. I hate people like that. I also hate that some people just couldn't deal, or just didn't care enough. I almost want to pick a fight with them and tell them how much they suck to make myself feel better, but that's also lame, so I won't. Karma, it's all karma. I'm the kind of person that would bend over backwards for someone I care about, but I don't always feel I get the same in return... I guess I just need to make some new friends!

OKay, I'm going to close this pity party for now.

XO

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kelly,

I am jennlady from the lymphoma board and I feel exactly the way you do. I told my friends that I had cancer and now I have none. One told me a after a month of not talking that he just didn't know what to say or how to act around me. Oh I don't know, how about act normal around me?

I have my last treatment on Friday and I want to tell all my so-called friends that I am done with treatment and I am officially done with them. I had no idea how horrible my friends were until I was diagnosed. Now I am scared that I will not be able to make any and honestly, now is the time I could really use someone to just hear me out.

After all of that, I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. I just wish I knew somehow to make it better.

BaldyLocks said...

Uh oh. I hope I didn't pass my crappy day on to you?

Sorry about your friend situation. I can relate as my friends have come and gone through this. Some were burned out. Others? I guess I'll never know unless I hunt them down and ask.

Truthfully, you have a friend here. I like how you write, I like your humour, I check in to listen to your music and I think you're OK, darn it!

BaldyLocks said...

You're OK twice!

Veronica said...

Yep - there's a crankie epedemic around!.........sorry you're feeling crappy - we're maybe not so close by, but you've got good friends here........x

Bekah said...

Let's hang out Monday (if you're back from block island). Have you ever been to finale? It's this wonderful dessert sit down place in coolidge corner that serves the BEST sweets and amazing wine.

Oh ps - we also have to start planning for Michelle's arrival, I'm totally planning on the three of us tearing up Boston.

BIG HUGS, B

Julie said...

Hey Kelly,

I know that I don't have cancer, but I can relate to the frind problem. It seems life whenever life hands me "the old maid card" they all go running. I can't figure it out. The only thing to do is be your own best friend and take care of yourself. If you need to cheers up, look at the photos of Roland.
Cheers,
Julie

BaldyLocks said...

I'm glad you'll be looking for my site! I'm so excited about it. It will just be my shop for a while until I can build the rest. It has been started, though. I should have things listed in the shop by monday or sooner.

I hope today is better for you.

Laurie & Rene said...

Kelly,
You can cry & complain all you want. This has been a real difficult time for you and your family. Please know that you can come over my house anytime! I know I'm old but I still have some fun & laughs left in me. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this it must suck...just know that you are loved and let those people be your support.
Love, your cousin, Laurie

T.O.G. said...

Kels, I hope you feel better soon, babe. Wish I was closer so we could go out for karaoke and have some fun.
There were a few revelatory moments for me with some of my so-called "friends," but I don't even care anymore. We've got a life to live, and if some choose not to be a part of it, don't let it get you too down. There are always new friends on the horizon. Look at dear Miss Bekah! And don't forget our upcoming the anti-Hodgerama.
Love ya sweetie,
Kare

Jon said...

Dude, I think it's the Boston area as far as shitty friends go, listen to this story (you won't believe it).

My wife was in her third year or so at Bridgewater and she lived with three girls. One she was super tight with, the others just casual friends. In a 6 month span, her sister came down with Breast Cancer and my wife was diagnosed with a benign tumor in the base of her skull and spine. She had to go in a have a biopsy of THAT area. Those girls thought she was lying and looking for sympathy. To this day, my old lady is still bumned about that.

She does has a kick ass friend name Matt up there tho. So all of Boston isn't a total lost.

Mary said...

Don't even get me started about how disappointed in people I've been since the cancer. I think I'm going to crack up when one of my coworkers tells me again they're tired because they had trouble getting to sleep or because of their allergies. Cry me a river.

My friends if I bring up anything about cancer, they just change the subject and talk about their relationship or work problems or whatever, and it's very frustrating. I too need to find new friends when this is over. I guess it's a blessing in disguise though, because you get to see what people are really made of, and hopefully get better at choosing friends the next time around.

Mary

Janielle said...

Kelly... I'm sorry your day was "not so hot" yesterday... hope today was much, much better and enjoy your weekend in Block Island! =D