Eh

I don't know what to say or think... I just got off the phone with my oncologist, and he said that all the found on the nodes from my thymus, were thymus! But I really wanted to just say "DUH!" It's been such a roller coaster with all of this insanity of yes, it's most likely hodge, we need to biopsy it, to waking me up after surgery telling me it looks just like Hodgkin's, to now them telling me it's nothing!? Kinda weird. But really, I wasn't really worried about the thymus spot, I was worried about the spot they DIDN'T biopsy :( My doc is going to check with the surgeon and see if there is anyway to get to the other spot, ya know, the actually important spot! In a way, I'm annoyed. I didn't go thru all this biopsy crap to be told I don't have cancer, I mean come on, ANOTHER scar!!! Ugh! Of course, I didn't want cancer, but it all seemed like every sign was pointing to YES! So what gives!!?

Anywho, I'm back to waiting again. Yes, I've become to best waiter there is. I should get a medal, or win the lottery or something. My doc said his secretary will call me tomorrow to get a PET scan scheduled, which will be done at the end of October. So what do I do between now and the end of October? What if the spot grows by then...? What if I go back to work and have more crap pop up? Ugh. And PS, I'm still itchy!!!

Anywho, that's all I got. And, no, I'm not going out to celebrate, because I just don't believe this shit yet.

XO