Almost exactly one year ago, I blogged this on myspace
Subject: It's official
Hi All -
Just a quick update, I officially have Hodgkin's lymphoma... my doctor thinks it's stage 2 (1 being the best, 4 the worst) and we're going to run a bunch more tests and most likely start chemo mid-late January depending on tests and stuff. So feel free to get liquored up with me before then!
How weird to have it be one year ago when my life completely changed. That means the past few weeks, this time last year, were a nightmare for me -- a mix of panic attacks and drinking too much to keep my mind off of what could be - and what was. I wish I could go back to that time and not have cancer, and still have my old life. I miss it - but not my cancer.
I think it's all hitting me tonight, how weird my life has become. How getting sick just sucks. And I'm not going to lie, I'm freaking out a little bit right now.
The holidays suck. I love the whole giving idea and everything, but I think it also tends to be a very excluding time of year as well. As of now, I have no plans for New Years, and really, I don't care-- but at the same time, it just reminds me how single I am - blah.
Oh and maybe you're wondering how my match.com experience is going? Well so far, it's super lame and is just annoying. I'm getting like "pitch" emails - you can tell that they just copy and paste the same exact email to everyone -- clearly you're going to find miss right doing that. OR I get the creepiest looking guys that live in their parents basements and play dungeons and dragons all night... whatever.
I give up. It's just lame. I'm just going to focus on myself. I need to be happy with me and my own situation before I add someone else to the mix. I can't wait for life to happen anymore.