I'm starting to feel "normal" today. It was the first day that I went out and did errands by myself. I usually don't even drive for at least a week after chemo, my mom will take me where I need to go :) But today I woke up, ate breakfast and decided to put some makeup on and get out of the house. I went and got my nails done (yeah I know, you're not supposed to with chemo, but oh well) and I went to the mall. As you know, I need new pants these days. It's been really frustrating with the weight gain and every time I go shopping I get really cranky because I don't find anything that fits me right. It's weird, I only gained about 10 pounds, and before the weight gain I was totally fine with the way I looked, but these 10 pounds have really gotten to me. Nothing seems to fit right. Surprisingly today wasn't that bad of a shopping experience. I actually went to go look at mens shirts, I need zippy shirts and my boobs are just too big for most trendy women's shirts. I ended up buying a new pair of jeans that fit me (which is so rare!), super cheap at Old Navy, and they're even the right length and I don't look like a fat ass in them! I also got a few t-shirts, a women's zip hoodie (GapBody - who woulda thought!) and another pair of pants that does need to get hemmed. But all in all I wasn't shattered by this shopping experience today and I got some clothes that make me feel like me again! Hooray!
I really can't wait until the end of chemo. I'm really going to commit to losing weight and going to the gym on a regular basis. It might take me some time to get back to my normal energy level, but hopefully I can fit in my old clothes soon and maybe drop a few more sizes. I just want to be healthy. I don't think I'll ever be one of those super skinny chicks that looks like they need to eat a slice of pizza - and I'm okay with that. I've got my grandma's genes and figure - she was a busty lady too! :) I was told I look a lot like her when she was younger - I've never seen pictures but I take it as a compliment.
I'm heading back to Burlington for the weekend. I was going to go tonight but decided I was too tired and will just head there in the morning. I've got a massage scheduled for 3:30 and I'm looking forward to the relaxation. I'm also supposed to hang out with Pat tomorrow night, hopefully it'll be a day of fun! We're due for one. He mentioned yesterday that he might go to a strip club last night and I told him he needed to stay home and rest for hanging out with me and that I would show him my port instead! Ha ha... he ended up not going anyways, not sure why, but I don't think he's waiting to see my port.... On Tuesday I'm supposed to go to work for lunch which should be good. They're going to order pizza and have everyone come. I figured it would be easier than making everyone go out and meet me. I need to remember to bring more candy cigarettes for my work BFFi he's been going thru withdrawls.
I'm also supposed to get a pulmonary function test next week. As I mentioned earlier, they held the B in the ABVD mix last week because I complained of shortness of breath and lung pain. I kinda hope they keep the B out of the mix, I seem to feel much better without it. I'm not going to be picky because I just want to cancer to be gone so I'll do whatever it takes, but still it was much better to have less aches this week - like a mini chemovacation.
I bet I have tons of mail waiting for me at my apartment. I really gotta get my mail situation figured out. When I moved I set up mail forwarding from my parents address to my apartment, and now I need to reverse it and get everything send to my parents house. Oh, how tricky. So if you need to mail me something, just mail it to my mom, or my dog or something at my parents address so it won't get forwarded :)
Okay, I'll write more soon. XO