I'm the best softball player, eva! Okay maybe not. One thing I learned last night, is that my body and my mind aren't exactly matched up yet. So I was doing awesome, playing really good. I got up to bat, hit and started running to 1st base, and my body just stopped, and I fell - HARD! I think I might have blacked out when I was running, I'm not really sure. But it sucked, my legs are cut up and I have a big chunk missing in my hand - whoops! I still kept playing though, and did pretty good. I even caught up pop up without any effort :) I played again today, but it was waaaaay hotter, and my stomach was pretty cranky because of the heat, and with my leg all bandaged up and my hand with band aids that just weren't sticking, I definitely wasn't as good as yesterday. I decided to just go home after the game instead of going out for drinks with everyone, I was exhausted and sweaty!
So anyways, that's my story for now. My pickle fingers are still yucky. I'm going to try and see a skin specialist this week hopefully. Then I'll probably head home, maybe this weekend. I can only do so much here. I'm still pretty tired. But I was really impressed that I played the whole game yesterday and of course I was in pain the next day, but not as bad as I expected. It actually felt good to throw a ball -- I was nervous because I throw with my right hand, same as my bad shoulder, but surprisingly, it didn't hurt!
Oh and I finally got my long term disability checks!!!!!! I was so excited to deposit them! I'll be paying my parents a chunk of the money, gotta love cancer.
And on another note, I'm feeling really weird lately. It's so tough to get acclimated to being "normal" -- I'm not normal, and everyone else's lives kept going on while I was out of commission. I feel like I don't fit in with anyone these days, and even though I don't have a date set to go back to work, I'm really scared. I don't know anyone anymore, and I don't want to have to answer lots of questions, like hey you cut your hair short -- nope, it just fell out a bunch more :( But yeah, everyone my age has problems like fighting with their friends, not having enough money, wanted to be promoted, boyfriend/girlfriend stuff -- but me, I'm dealing with fighting for my life, getting poked every 2 weeks for 6 months, losing my hair, having scars that will last a lifetime, and just trying to rebuild my life -- it's definitely tough to relate to everyone. Anywho, that's just my little rant on being scared - I'm trying to work on it though.
Cross your fingers that the pickle fingers dry up soon!