Well I'm not as miserable as I was yesterday. I guess it just takes time to start to feel better. I've still broken down and started crying a few times today though - so the tears are still kicking around. I hate waiting and I hate the unknown. It's true what people say, it's much easier during chemo because you have an exact timeline and plan of attack, and of course a deadline for it to be over! It's when you enter the land of limbo that it gets more complicated.
I went and got a facial today to cheer myself up and try to relax. It only sorta worked for the relaxation. I tried to schedule a 30 minute massage after the facial but she was already booked up - so I'll just have to go back soon. She gave me a 10% off coupon for my next massage appointment. I stick to having the owner do my facials and massages because she understands I'm there to relax and not talk about everything going on in my cancer life -- unlike this other woman there who I used to go to, but she also had the hodge and thinks I like to talk about it all the time, which I don't, especially when she says that she's glad she got cancer, are you retarded? Cancer sucks! So anywho, at least I didn't have to deal with crazy pants and start crying for the billionth time this week. And now my face is pretty smooth and glamorous. My hair was pretty greasy though from the mini scalp massage, so I just re-showered today and that made me feel a little better as well.
I talked to Lynda and Julia and they convinced me to go on the work outing tomorrow. They're doing some sort of river cruise and then hanging out at a beach and having lunch. I was on the fence about going since I know I'll have to answer a lot of questions like "when are you going back to work" and "Aren't you all better now" -- which I just don't have answers to. But they promised to help block me from getting asked cancer stuff a billion times, so cross your fingers that I don't start crying there!
Anywho, thanks everyone for the comments and the support. I guess I just need to keep busy so call me, let's plan something, entertain me, tell me jokes, braid my hair- whatever!